How to deal with your kids when they hate school. Now hating might be a big word but it is often a word used by kids whenever they talk about school. ‘I hate school’ is a common phrase spoken. When they were younger they only cried when its school time, but as they grow older, they learn new words and once they know the extent of the word ‘hate’ they use it whenever they can to tell you how much they do not want to go back to school.
As parents, in order to be as good as you can or the best parents you can be to your kids, one part of you wish you could fulfill your kids’ demand that they ‘do not want go back to school because they hate it there’ but you cannot deny the fact that education is mandatory. Unless you have the capacity to have them homeschooled, chances are you will have to find ways for your kids to ‘like school back’ enough for them to continue being happy and jolly about going to school. After all, they are growing up and this was suppose to be the best times of their lives before heading out to the dog eat dog world out there. So what should you do, as parents when your kids dislike school and often claims that they don’t want to go back there, the place they describe so clearly to be something like hell.
Get to the root of the problem
The first thing you have to do is to find out what the problem is or are. Always remember that there could be more than one cause of the problem. In this context, it is easy to point to blame at the other party, which of course this would mean the school. You will always think that something must be wrong with the school that your kid seemed to be rejecting everything from school work to friends and such. But finding out about the problem is where you need to look at the big picture. It could be the school, the teachers, the friends and it could even be the home.
Examine the environment
One thing for sure, the environment in the class are conducive enough for education. After all, it has been used for many years and a lot of students have since graduated. So the environment in the school would not be much of the problem. That brings you back to the home environment. You will find that a lot of parents believe that they have the best places in the world for their kids to stay in. Look into factors like distractions and sleeping conditions. Although they might have a specially dedicated space to do their homework, are they losing sleep or not sleeping well at home. Talk to your kids to find out about this. Research shown that kids who suffer nightmares sometimes do not like to tell their parents about it but if they do, you can always find ways to help them. External factors are always the contributing factors to nightmares for kids. It could be the reflection of the branches outside that scares them, it could be total darkness or just insecurity.
Arrangements need to be made if they are not sleeping well. This would be in terms of moving the rooms about, ensuring lights are on all night or even moving closer to your child’s room might help. This is because if your kid is not sleeping well or enough, it would affect their next day in school often resulting in grumpiness or fatigue. If they bring these feelings to school, chances are they will have a bad day there.
Cope with Stress
All parents want their kids to excel in their studies. Some schools are even implementing almost impossible studying guidelines and point systems where students must meet a specific level in order to maintain being in the top classes. This is where you have to make firm decisions noting that your kid need some pushing in doing well in school but not overly stressed over them. You need to know that your kid is well aware of the competition in school where they will have already felt the peer pressure of doing better than their classmates. So if you add on to this stress then it creates unwanted pressure for them. The best thing to do here really is to have them grow and mature at their own pace and they will come around well enough. If the school system is to pressurizing then you have to decide if the school is appropriate for your kid. If it is not, then it is time to change. The last thing you will need is to have your kid rejecting school altogether.
Perhaps the hardest issue to cope with is the socializing factor for your kid. You will have to first deal with the bullies in school. While it is easy for you to go and talk to the teacher about someone bullying your kid, it will create additional problems later so they might not want to tell you about it for fear of further consequences. But if there really is someone bullying your kid, then you will have to teach your kid on ways to overcoming this problem on their own. If all else fails then you will have to meet the teachers. If that does not work, then perhaps changing the school is your last resort.
On the other hand, your kid needs to learn to socialize with others. It could be that someone wants to be friends or that they might be having problems making friends in school. Whatever the situation, your kid’s social life in school need to be nurtured and that they need to make friends on their own. Your role starts at home where they are taught about confidence and choosing friends, the rest needs to be done on their own.
As parents, if your kid faces problems with making friends, then you will have a role to play in ensuring that they overcome this problem. Activities like gatherings with other families, birthday parties where you can invite their classmates and their parents and such will all make a huge difference in your kids social life. It gives them a good headstart and for others to be more receptive of them.
Whatever the problem is, the parent is the problem solver if your kid hates school. You have to get to the root of the problem and perhaps put in an extra effort to have your kid shaking off that ‘hate’ feeling. You need to talk to people, make programmes and such. All it takes is a weekend of yours and your kid might just start liking school again.