Failure in marriages is not anything new today. In fact, it has become quite a normal phenomenon in many communities and societies where divorce rates are reportedly rising all the time. The issue really is what happens when you find someone new and decides to get married for the second time. It might be a totally blissful feeling for you to start anew in your love life but this will affect others around you, most notably your children.
The most important step that you must take is that you have to communicate the seriousness of your relationship to your children beforehand. If their mother is still around and not deceased, then there is a responsibility on your part to ensure that your children know. After all, they will be the people who will experience the most changes with your new arrangement.
If your children has not been receptive of you being with someone else apart from your mother, then it is better that you either don’t live with them or do not get married at all. Be very sure about this, your children is your responsibility, you cannot ever escape from this. If what you want to do is not going well with them, then it is better not to do it and wait for a better time in the future.
Your children will have to change the way they address your new partners, probably from ‘aunty’ to ‘mom’ or something like that. If that is not going to work, then never ever force them to do so. If living arrangements would be a problem, then you really have to make adjustments. Maybe stay in the house next door in order to avoid disputes or disagreements. Logistically, there would need to be some changes so that everyone will be happy with the new setup.
Always remember that life is not all about you. At your age (where you have kids and planning to re-marry), you do not make the choices and decisions anymore. Unless you have kids who are totally open-minded and receptive that there will be a ‘new mom’ in the house, you have to make a drastic decision to either postpone or not get married at all. On top of all that, you can hope that one day, it will all change especially when the kids grow older because if they are still young, chances are, they will not understand, ever.