Divorced?

Divorced

So, you are getting a divorce and no one will teach you that this is something that is only done if and only if, there are no other choices. The situation might be better for both you and your partner but it is surely not the best for the children. Whether you have 1 or several kids, the situation is the same. It gets a lot more complicated if your children are still very young where they are around the primary school ages.

It is a simple arrangement where to the kids; a divorce means that the family is breaking up. It means that mommy and daddy are no longer together and that there will no more family outings, family dinners and such. In fact, there will be new arrangements where dinners are now split into 2 different sessions. There will then be new additions to the family when either you or your partner finds someone new.

The question really is how you tell your kids that you and your partner are parting ways. The best way is to be straightforward about things. Never make any promises that you cannot keep like ‘we might get back together someday’ and such. Since both the adults have decided to part ways, then let it be. Before approaching your children, you better be prepared with answers, and a lot of them. They might not take it very well and be unreasonable, but that is where you need to be patient and explain everything to them.

One of the best ways to do this is to give them the assurance that no matter what it is going to be, they will still be cared and loved the same way as before. The child might show some form of regression and becomes a lot clingier than before in a hope that you might change your mind. To them, it might feel like the end of the world. They need to know what is going to happen next and you need answers to where they are going to live and with whom.

In this context, timing is everything. Most couples wait until the last minute where there is no amicable solution left and that divorce is a sure thing. Make sure that you will be there for the child after you break the news to him or her. They will need a lot of assurances and will surely feel insecure for quite a while. So it is your job to ensure that you are there for them whenever they need someone. It is your fault. Remember that!

 

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