The phrase ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’ is one which usually garner mixed reactions. It is a Catch-22 situation which can be either a win-win or lose-lose situation. Children today can be quite stubborn and unwilling to compromise but when it comes to teaching or parenting, there is never a ‘one-way’ which is most effective. However, you can take note of some of the common mistakes that parents make when they are teaching their kids. We show you the 7 most common ones.
Bribe the child – A lot of parents use bribery as a quick fix for a problem when it happens, especially when you are in public. If your child is about to give you problems in the midst of other people, you start offering candies or toys to subdue them. This will create a precedent and each time the child wants an ice-cream, he will know when to start throwing a tantrum.
Losing your temper – This is one which happens very easily and in fact one of the most dangerous methods. It might scare the child for the moment but it could lead to a situation where you say something that you should not. It could be a vulgar word or even mean things that they might remember for life. Its hard not to lose your temper at times, but at least try to control it even if your child repeated the mistake after having told them 20 times. If you keep losing your temper over a mistake, the child might just follow your style.
Inciting Fear – Most parents like to incite fear among the child by saying that there are monsters and creepy crawlies if they lie on the floor or on the ground. This will cause the child to be afraid and could create phobias that could lead to their adulthood. If it goes on too rampantly, it could even lead to paranoia.
Embarrassing Them – Some parents can be very insensitive when teaching their kids. They resort to belittling or using sarcasm on their kids. This will only lower their self-esteem and will lead on into adulthood. Such tactics might work once or twice but when used repeatedly could instill a permanent scar in the child.
Canning or other physical penalties – The term ‘rotan’ or caning could be your easiest way out. After all, your parents did that to you but you turned out fine. Physical punishment might work but you should only use this as a last resort when all else fails. Be careful that you might encourage violence as a means of discipline.
Authoritative – Parents often feel that they are the highest authority when it comes to disciplining the child. They issue commands like the army and this is very common especially among fathers.
Guilt – Inflicting guilt on the child works at times but it is not the most effective. A lot of mothers like to ‘remind’ the child about the sacrifice they have to put up with for the kids. Sometimes it is to remind themselves about what they have to put up with for taking care of the kids at home but what the mothers don’t realize is that they sounded very genuine which could cause the child to feel the sense of guilt for many years.